Sometimes it is better to speak before you think

As someone who tends to overthink decisions (and many other things), I particularly appreciate moments of clarity, when I make a decision without hesitation and do not question myself. I just had one of those moments that confirmed for me that I am on the right path with House of Mon and it made me laugh!

I’ve been a freelance journalist for seven years but I still get occasional approaches from recruiters seeing if I’m interested in going back to a full-time role. As my last permanent position was for a financial services company as the global head of content, the jobs are in that world and sometimes interesting but usually nothing that tempts me. But this week I was contacted by a recruiter I know well and really rate – someone who knows what I went through in my last job and who I trust not to put me in that kind of situation again. And the job was senior and very, very well paid.

And I bluntly said, “No, definitely not - that sounds like my worst nightmare.”

After he picked up his jaw, he laughed. We had a really good conversation about where I am now, what I’m doing and how happy I am. He commented on how well I look, so relaxed and content – the opposite of the thin, pinched, stressed creature he knew from before.

When I told my partner about it later, he also laughed and jokingly said, “what have you become?” I realised how mad it would sound to most people – including me not so long ago – to turn down a job that would double or (with the bonus) probably triple my current salary and give me status in the world I’ve been working in for over 20 years.

We are taught from an early age to study, work hard, be ambitious and strive for success. And success is generally defined as earning a lot of money in positions of power and status. I bought into that fully. I was the smart kid who started taking uni courses in the summer while still in school, graduated early and went straight into a masters. I was the ambitious career woman who started managing people in my late 20s, scored a job at The Economist in my early 30s - travelling the world speaking at conferences where I was often the only woman - and by my late 30s had been poached for a director-level, global position at a huge financial services company.

When I left, I felt like a failure. Even as I built a successful freelance career, I wondered if I should go back to that world. But through therapy and psychedelic exploration, I realised that that work was never going to give me what I need to feel fulfilled and happy. It was what my ego told me I wanted, but my self knew I didn’t really.

Still…. We all have our moments of doubt and question our life choices, especially when they are so radically different to what we have been telling ourselves our whole lives to pursue. So my very emphatic response to the recruiter filled me with joy and made me laugh, because it came out before my ego had a chance to overthink.

I share this story as this is what the House of Mon is all about. Giving ourselves permission to let go of what society, family and ego have told us we want, and figure out what we actually want and need. To explore talents and pursue dreams we’ve not acknowledged because they probably won’t make us rich. To have the courage to live our lives in a way that makes us happy and proud that we are giving our true selves to the world.